You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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