Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize