okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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