Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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