Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
