I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
