Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
