$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
