True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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