the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
