i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
send nudes
from the living room?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
