I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
