its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize