is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
