I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
