Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
