Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Randomize