No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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