found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
