The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
