names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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