U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The best revenge is premature balding
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
