went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
