anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
