i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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