Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
