just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
