I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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