will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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