Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Randomize