Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No subtext here. People are naked.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize