Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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