i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
