Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
