Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
