Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
only if we run a train.
done.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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