They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Randomize
