Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
