I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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