is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
