I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I touched a dick in church today
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
