Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My bed smells like the plague
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
