3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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