After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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