so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
