bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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