I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize