Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
