i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
i now understand why vodka
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
