I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize