alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
