Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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