Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it's great music for shaving your balls
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
