last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
