I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
