guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
