google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
