Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
