May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sober January is a disaster.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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