he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
