Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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