I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
