I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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